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Monday, June 16, 2008

Are they all yours?

Boys....Whenever we go out we inevitably get asked one of two questions, but usually both, at least 14 times per hour. The first question being, “Are they all yours?” and the second one being, “Are they all boys?” and the third one being, “Are there any twins?” and the fourth one being “How far apart are they?” and the fifth one being, “You must be tired.” and the sixth one being “Wow. Four boys. Wow… Four. Wow.” and the seventh one being, “All boys? How sad!” (at which point I usually decide it’s about the right time to tear someone a new … something!) Then the comment that comes up in almost every conversation is "Oh..do you ever watch that show John and Kate plus 8?" like somehow if they watch that show it makes them know EXACTLY how life with 4 kids or 8 kids is. Or the endless commentary that we receive where ever we go as if we were the Duggar family or something. (And for the record in case you haven't noticed I do NOT wear a jumper or have 30 foot long hair!)
People always ask me “Are they all yours?” as if I would sit down right there in the aisle of the store or on hard bench at a school event and get right down to how many fathers they hail from and the whole sordid story behind each conception if that were the case. I’ve always sort of wanted to shock someone with a story like that just to see their reaction. Fortunately/Unfortunately I just can’t bring myself to do it. And more than anything as my little banshees are running around the racks of clothes or food depending on where we are....or whacking each other in the shins...."Would I really choose to take 4 little boys that aren't mine to a place of business!? It's not like an amusement part....and they typically are dressed alike...so IF I was going to bring extra kids along on an errand would I really take the time to dress them alike?!

And then we seem to also always get the question, “Are they all boys?”

Umm…yea....call me crazy but do dirty jeans, snot on a sleeve, shirts with remnants of lunch, banged up knees, deep gravelly little voices and buzzed haircuts not tell you anything? I understand this question where androgynously dressed infants are involved but at this point, I look at my sons and I start to wonder if the askers are smoking crack or maybe are just possibly legally blind, in which case I would not fault them. However, when I get this question, I smile and nod and give them the kind of reply that they are clearly expecting rather than what I really, deep down, want to answer… What I would really like to answer to someone who asks this is to suddenly hush them and pull them aside and whisper to them that we’re not really quite sure what they all are but that we really don’t like to talk about it in public…. But, go figure, I never have done this either.... and I guess I probably don’t think I ever will.....call me a coward.

Yes, they are all ours and they are all boys and they are all boy and we had them on purpose!! And we wouldn’t change a thing…